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Archives for December 2015

My Year in Numbers

Count

1 = Book Published (10 Cheeky Monkeys)

2 = Baby Showers Attended

3 = Out of State Trips

4 = Visits to Disneyland

5 = Puggle ER Visits (Here’s to hoping they got this out of their systems!)

6 = New Year’s Resolutions Kept (Better than I thought I would do!)

7 = Movies Seen in a Movie Theater (5 of the 7 at El Capitan.)

8 = Query Letters Sent for My Novel

19 = Book Clubs

52 = Plays I Saw

71 = New Blog Posts on My Website

450 = Pages in My Novel

1,050 = Most Website Views in One Day

14,000 = Total Website Views

Happy New Year’s Eve and here’s to 365 days of success, happiness and laughter in 2016! You read this blog as the Count didn’t you? 😉

Q & A

I have been getting quite a few questions since my announcement that I finished writing my novel, and figured I would share the answers here. The novel, In a Time Never Known, is historical fiction based during the American Civil War. My two main characters are female spies for the Union, however they are both married to Confederate officers. Without further ado, here are the questions I’ve been asked.

Q – How long is the book?

A – 113,000ish words which breaks down into 450ish pages, broken into 50 chapters.

 

Q – Was this part of NaNoWriMo?

A – Nope.

 

Q – Where did the story idea come from?

A – I was in Richmond, VA visiting a friend and we were out one day doing the obligatory touristy stuff, which meant we took a tour of the White House of the Confederacy. In the gift shop, I found this tiny little 48 page pamphlet about female spies in the Civil War. I was fascinated, so I bought it, took it home and promptly forgot that I had it. However, the seed had been planted. My brain started to formulate a story, and about a year later, I dug out that pamphlet and began my research.

© Claudelle Girard / istockphoto

© Claudelle Girard / istockphoto

Q – How long did it take you to do the research, and what were your sources?

A – There is no way that I can come up with a quantitative number for that, I spent too much time over too many years to count. I did research before I started writing and while I was writing all the way up to and through the final rewrite. For the research, I read books both fiction and non-fiction. I watched several multi-part documentaries – my favorite by far was by Ken Burns and I also bought and read the companion book that goes along with it. I also did significant amounts of research on the internet. Before you ask, not Wikipedia. NEVER Wikipedia.

 

Q – How did you stay organized?

A – Copious amounts of notes and spreadsheets, baby! As I had multiple things that I was keeping track of at any given point in time, I created a spreadsheet and would alter the parameters of it depending on where I was in the process, or what I needed to focus on. This is the last incarnation that I used. Yes, it is color coded.

OneTouch Dec 22, 2015 (1)

Q – How long did it take to write the novel? Did you work chronologically?

A – From when I started writing the book, five years. However, only the last year and a half of that was focused work. Before that I would work on a chapter, then ignore it for a couple of months, then work on another chapter then ignore it, etc. And no, I did not work chronologically. I wrote the last chapter of the book, before I tackled the first chapter. My style was more Memento-esque.

 

Q – How many editors did you have?

A – I haven’t yet had a full grammatical edit done, but I had the help of around ten people for content edits.

 

If I missed yours, please feel free to ask!

Let’s Talk Etiquette

I find that I get asked on a fairly regular basis to read and comment on people’s work. Both from people I know, and people I’ve never heard of before. To be completely honest, every time someone asks me, I cringe. Not because I don’t like helping people, or I think I’m above that or something. I feel honored that people think highly enough of my writing to want my opinion on their own. That’s a nice little stroke to my ego every time it happens. I cringe because nine times out of ten, it is not a pleasant experience for me. I feel that a large part of this is due to the fact that people don’t understand that there is an etiquette that should be followed.

1. Don’t hand me your rough draft. Don’t hand me your first or second draft either. In fact, I better be pretty far down the list of people you’ve asked to read and critique your work. If I got to present one of my recipes to a chef, you can be damn sure it wouldn’t be the first time I’d made the dish. Same concept.

2. You might have an absolutely amazing and fantastic idea, but don’t assume I want to collaborate with you. I have my own projects and enough ideas written on pieces of paper to fill a shoe box. Chances are pretty good that I’ll want to work on those, before your idea.

3. Do your own research. Writers have their areas of expertise. If you are writing within that area, make sure your research is accurate. I’m not here to act as your fact check, that’s what Google is for.

4. Janet Jackson said it best – What have you done for me lately? Chances are, if I don’t know you, not even in the ‘we interact on social media’ sense, and you send me a request to look at your work, I’m not going to. This does not make me selfish. I am busy with my own life and my own work. If you want my advice, make yourself known to me. Comment on a blog post, share my tweets. Do something to show me that you are looking for a mutually beneficial relationship.

5. Keep genre in mind. If you look on Goodreads at the books I read you will notice a distinct lack or horror, poetry, sci-fi, etc. That’s because I don’t like them. Therefore, I am the last person you want critiquing your work in one of those genres. Unless your piece is better than freshly baked bread, I’m not going to like it.

6. Keep length in mind. If I am truly doing an in depth critique of a piece, it can take me over half an hour to get through five pages. Your twenty page short story will take me at least two hours. If you’re not going to take the notes I give into consideration, don’t waste my time.

7. Understand that there is a difference between a pat on the back for doing a good job, and a critique. Know which one you want. And if you’re asking me, keep in mind that I was a theater critic for four years. I don’t pull my punches. If it sucks, I’ll tell you.

patontheback

8. Don’t reply to one of my notes/comments/questions with, “But my teacher said . . .” Unless your teacher is someone like Stephen King, I couldn’t care less what your teacher said, and if what they said is so profound, why are you asking me.

9. Don’t get defensive or try to explain yourself. Critiques are not meant as comments on you as a person, they are meant as comments on that particular piece of work and meant to help you improve it. That’s great that you were trying to depict despair through your use of cool colors and dreary settings, it doesn’t come through in the text. Don’t explain it to me, explain it in your piece.

LucyOnBarre-2-604x270

10. Remember that there is no end-all authority on writing or storytelling. Every critique you get is someone’s opinion, and as such you are free to do with it as you please. Take what is useful and toss out what doesn’t fit your story. However, always, always say THANK YOU to the person. Whether you find their notes helpful or not, they spent quality time on your piece in an effort to help you. I have lost track of how many people failed to say a simple thank you. Don’t be that person.

Those are my top ten. Other writers, what are yours?

Operation: Clean One Thing

In terms of housekeeping, I am not going to win any awards any time soon. Okay, I could probably win “Most Dust Accumulated on a Ceiling Fan” or “Biggest Hair Ball From Under a Bed.” Seriously, who has time to dust ceiling fans and vacuum under beds on a regular basis? Obviously not me. Okay, I have time, but I would rather spend that time doing anything else, wouldn’t you? The problem is, I really enjoy living in a sparkly clean, organized house. Like, reeeealy enjoy it. It makes my little Type-A heart happy. Therefore, I constantly have things on my to-do list like “Deep-Clean Living Room” and “Clean Dust Off Ceiling Fan.” I don’t actually do any of these things. Instead I dutifully move them to another day on my list and promise that on that day I will actually do the cleaning.

besttodolistever

Well thanks to my live-in goats, who parade around as puggles, I made a lot of headway into deep-cleaning my kitchen. It was either that, or live with the permanent smell of curry and vodka, so I spent Monday night scrubbing my kitchen. Over the past two days I’ve noticed that I’ve been keeping the kitchen clean, and even cleaning something extra every night. Not to mention, I really love the way it looks now. My living room, on the other hand makes me cringe and I don’t even know where to begin. That’s when I decided to change up my tactics. I am abandoning Operation Clean All the Things and taking up Operation Clean One Thing!

Instead of stressing about cleaning my entire apartment, I am only going to focus on cleaning my kitchen. Organizing my kitchen. Making it pretty. That’s it, only the kitchen. This makes me happy. I love nit-picking and improving things, and I’m going to get done all of things that I’ve wanted to do for so long. Then once those are done, I’m going to get bored with the kitchen. I know this will happen, because you can only tweak a space for so long before you run out of things that need done. Now this my friends, is the pivotal moment. When I get bored with the kitchen, I will then move on to another room, and thus systematically work my way through the entire apartment.

This is the plan. Operation Clean One Thing! Do I have high hopes of this working? About the same as a T-Rex has of clapping his hands. Odds are I will finish that, give up on the rest of the apartment and just start spending all of my time in the kitchen. I’m gonna try this plan anyway, cause you gotta start somewhere man. Who knows, if I start now, I might be able to work up enough momentum to join in on that whole spring cleaning craze . . . maybe.

T Rex

I’m Being Positive Damnit

I am a bit of a Shakespeare nut. Okay, I’m a huge Shakespeare nut. If it is related to the Bard, I’m in. I’ve seen the entire canon performed live with the exception of three plays, and I have a ticket to cross one of those off my list next year. So yesterday when I heard that for one night only there would be a showing of Kenneth Branaugh’s “Winter’s Tale,” starring Judi Dench at a local movie theater I was ecstatic! SIGN ME UP!!! Minor problem though, my car was in the shop. That was not going to get me down. I convinced a friend to go with me, and she said that she could drive. Golden! Checked online, still plenty of tickets. I could not wait for my workday to be over to go geek-out watching Shakespeare for three hours. Best. Day. Ever. Until I got home from work to discover this.

IMG_20151130_185104

My darling dogs decided to throw themselves a little party while I was at work. What you’re seeing there is the carnage leftover for me to clean up. On top of clearing several rolls of paper towels and half a dozen cans off a shelf, they also got into and ate three jars of curry sauce, a can of olives and pulled two half-empty bottles of vodka out of a drawer (apparently they can open drawers now) and spilled/drank them. Mind you, all of these items have been on that shelf for months and they have never shown the slightest bit of interest in them, and the only thing on that shelf were cans and jars, so nothing that should have been tempting or accessible to them. Regardless, they got it into their little heads that yesterday was the day to get into everything!

It goes without saying, but I did not make it to “Winter’s Tale” last night. Instead I spent the evening scrubbing my kitchen and then my curry covered dogs while waiting the whole time for some sort of demonic curry-fueled fury to be unleashed out of one end or the other. As you can imagine, I was pissed. In fact, after ascertaining that despite the broken glass all over the kitchen, neither dog was injured, anger won out over concern completely. Therefore, in an attempt to not murder my dogs, I am choosing to find the bright side. So here are the top five good things about last night.

  1. I had pumpkin puree in the house and neighbors gave me some Pepto Bismol and white bread, so I didn’t have to walk to the store to pick some up.
  2. I never got around to cleaning my kitchen over the weekend, so at least they didn’t dirty up a freshly cleaned kitchen. And as a bonus, my kitchen is now the cleanest it has ever been!
  3. I also have clean puggles now. Everyone likes a clean puggle.
  4. I had not pre-purchased my ticket for “Winter’s Tale” so at least I didn’t waste any money.
  5. Despite all logical sense my goats, er dogs appear to be perfectly fine.

Puggles

I am slightly less pissed this morning, but choosing to focus on the positive. Frickin dogs!