I worked in retail for years. Everything from a mom and pop tourist junk shop to fine jewelry to a major department store. And if there is one commonality between all of them, it is that there will be people who come in and act like assholes. It doesn’t matter what you’re selling, what your price points are, there will be people who come in and do nothing but make fun of your prices, your merchandise and sometimes you. It’s good times. (insert sarcastic font) As employee in these establishments, the only thing you can do is grit your teeth and hope they get bored and leave sooner rather than later.
Despite my years of experience dealing with this, now that I’ve been removed from it for a couple of years, I had totally forgotten about this phenomenon. Until this weekend when I had a yard sale. This woman came by and started browsing through stuff. Every time she would ask for a price, she would roll her eyes. At one point she even laughed at me. Now mind you, the majority of the items at this yard sale were priced at $1. However, we had a couple of larger, nicer items that were priced accordingly. She of course, was only interested in the nicer items, but still expecting the $1 price tag. Calling on my years of training, I gritted my teeth and waited for her to go away. She did and all was well. Until she circled back.
It was at this point that I remembered that I was at a yard sale, and I wasn’t anybody’s employee. Therefore, I didn’t have to deal with her shit. Nor did I have to sell her anything if I didn’t want to. The individual prices of everything were still the same, however because of her behavior I would now impose a twat tax on anything she wanted to buy. What is the twat tax, you ask? This tax doubled the asking price to compensate me for the mental anguish I suffered from having to deal with her. Surprise, surprise, she didn’t buy anything, but I felt better.
Fast forward to last night. I’m trying to sell a rug on Craigslist and this guy and I have been going back and forth negotiating price. Scratch that, he’s staying the same at 60% of my asking price, and expecting me to come down to his price. Last night I got fed up, threw out my final offer and said that I wouldn’t go any lower. This twat responds with, “You can do my price. Where do you live, I’ll pick it up tonight.”
Are you kidding me?!?!?! Does that actually work on people? Too bad for him, I now have a twat tax, and he most certainly qualifies as a twat. Only this guy graduated to a whole new level of twat, and I decided that I was done dealing with him. So I responded back with, “No, I cannot, and I am now done dealing with you. Please do not contact me again.”
Amazingly, he responded back and actually said sorry and made a counter offer. Mind you, it was a counter offer that was lower than the price that I said was my lowest offer. Nope, delete! Then I got an email offering to trade me his 37” TV for my rug. What? Nope, delete! Hate to tell you buddy, but if you want something, don’t be a twat to the person who has it. The twat tax. I’m a fan.