Dear Kat,
I know that you’re frustrated with yourself and feeling down. You haven’t been able to string together more than 4 days in a row of feeling well since before Thanksgiving. Because of this you’re falling behind on deadlines and don’t have time to spend on the things that you want to do because all of your extra time is spent sleeping. You’re sick and tired, both literally and figuratively. However, you’re still going, you’re still moving and you’re still getting things done. You have not given up.
Not only have you not given up, you’ve set up appointments with specialists, you’ve cleaned up your diet – what little was left to be cleaned up – you have explored every avenue that you can think of that could be causing the malaise. You have taken an active role in trying to feel better. You don’t yet, but you will. So give yourself a break.
Don’t begrudge yourself the nap, enjoy it. Realize that while goals are important, they are actually detrimental if looking at them causes large quantities of stress instead of inspiration or motivation. Realize that goals can and should be changed if they no longer fit your current life. Maybe instead of beating yourself up over not being able to accomplish 3-4 workouts a week, you change your goal to 3-4 meditations a week and use that time to center and find peace. Peace is more important than toned abs.
Do what you need to do for yourself and forgive yourself of everything that falls by the wayside. Things that fall are not lost, they can be picked up and carried once more when you regain your strength. Forgive what you perceive to be short-comings. Forgive what you perceive to be weaknesses. Forgive that you are not perfect. No one is and trying to live to that standard is as futile as Sisyphus and his rock. Forgive yourself and focus on what is good.
Focus on what you have been able to accomplish thus far. Focus on what you will accomplish, in good time. Focus on all of the people that love you. Forgive yourself and focus on what is good.
Forgive yourself and focus on what is good. If you can do that, then all will be well.
Love,
Mom (Okay, not really from my mom, but what I hope she’d say right now.)