This is apparently my week to contemplate moods. A friend of mine asked me yesterday, in all earnestness, how she could snap out of her bad mood. Without a moment’s hesitation I shot back at her a smart ass response of:
“Decide to be in a good mood.”
At the time, I had definitely intended that remark to be sarcastic, but in retrospect, the advice is sound. How do you get out of a bad mood? You stop being in a bad mood. I think it’s actually that simple. Instead of focusing on what is wrong about today, instead of focusing on who is to blame, instead of being hard on yourself, you can choose to focus on something else. I truly feel that whatever you chose to focus on, will determine your mood. It’s really hard to be in a bad mood when you’re thinking about happy things. Focus on how good your coffee tastes. Focus on, and congratulate yourself on, the cute outfit you put together. Focus on the positives of the task you’re working on and all of the things you’ve already completed, and I truly believe that you can walk out of a shit-storm clean. You just have to make the choice to focus your brain on the positives in your life and let the negatives roll off your back. Which is much easier said than done.
I tend to find humor is just about everything. So much so, that I have had the comment made in my general direction that I was being inappropriate. Have you ever noticed how people who make judgments like that will rarely say it to your face, but always say it to someone else in a way that you are sure to hear? Drives me nuts! At any rate, I try to find the humor no matter how bleak the situation. There are times when the proverbial last straw fell so long ago that the poor camel has been in traction for months, yet more straw comes down. There are times when you have battled through so much and overcome so many obstacles, yet your path is still blocked. In these times you are faced with two choices: you can either laugh or cry. I don’t know about you, but I’ve done enough crying. So I choose to laugh.
I choose to laugh in the darkest of moments, the hardest of places. It might be bittersweet, but it’s laughter. So why can’t I do the same on a day to day basis? When my day sucks, when everything seems to be working against me and I’m tired and worn out, who’s to say that I can’t laugh? That I can’t stare down the crappiness and proclaim that I will not let it get the best of me. Not today! That I am going to smile and I am going to find something good to fixate on. To cling to like a buoy in the ocean if I have to, but I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself. Because in most cases, that is really what is at the root of a bad mood. I wasn’t treated the way that I would like to be treated. I didn’t get what I wanted. I have to do something that I don’t want to do. I am being kept from my true calling, and so I am going to feel sorry for myself. Pity party, table of one. My bad mood and I will each have a glass of wine so that we can stew in our stupor of self-righteous indignation.
Now don’t get me wrong. There are times when it is justified and you truly have been treated like crap, and taken advantage of and been kept from your dreams. However, even in those instances, you don’t have to stay there. You can get up and leave and choose to be somewhere else. I need to work on that. I need to remember to keep choosing to be somewhere better. I need to choose to laugh more often. I think we all do.