I just finished a book in which a saying was repeated several times, and each time it really rang true for me, “It’s not my tale to tell.” A person that I hold dear was given an unwelcome diagnosis last year. And despite the fact that it has completely rocked my world and affected me deeply, I have kept as quiet as possible about it, because it is not my tale to tell. It is not my tale to bruit about the internet. If this person wants to keep it to themselves then that is their prerogative and I have to respect that. I’m only bringing it up now because it is a required piece to the tale that is mine to tell.
Ever since I found out about this diagnosis my own health has deteriorated. Which isn’t overly surprising as some of my pre-existing maladies are exacerbated by stress and there has definitely been an overabundance of stress in my life lately. However, the paranoia and worry that has started to border on hypochondria – that every ache, every muscle twitch is a harbinger of doom – is most definitely not normal for me. If I had a dollar for every time I went onto WebMD to look something up over the past seven months I could take a week off of work with no pay. It has grown into the ridiculous.
Then I was talking to a friend and she said something that stopped me in my tracks. She was recounting something from her own past, and I don’t think that she intended to be giving this bit of advice, since it wasn’t the point of her story, but she recalled that someone had once told her, “You aren’t the one who was sick.” In her past, she wasn’t the one that was sick, and right now I am not the one that is sick. I can’t think of a single other thing that I needed to hear right now more than that phrase.
I am not the one who is sick.
Therefore I need to stop acting like I am. I need to stop worrying that I might be. I need to stop fixating on the worst possible outcome. All I am accomplishing is driving myself absolutely insane. So check that off of the to-do list and move on with my day! If only it were that easy . . . but then again why can’t it be that easy? Who says that change needs to be long and drawn out? Why can’t it be more like a switch? Make a decision, have a realization, flip the switch. Flip – new way of thinking. Flip – new mindset. Don’t dwell, don’t hem and haw, don’t second guess, flip the switch and be happier. It’s a goal.
