Blog Archive – Page 5

Thursday September 08, 2016Life, Live and LearnView all 2 comments

“There’s nothing we can do.”

At the age of 21 those were the words said to me by my orthopedist. I had been diagnosed with scoliosis at the age of 15,and it had developed into a triple curve starting in my neck and finishing at the bottom of the shoulder blades. Five vertebrae had naturally fused together. It was slight enough, that no medical intervention was warranted, yet severe enough that I was in pain every day of my life and experienced muscle spasms at least once a week. When it was really bad my right shoulder would sit 2-3 inches lower than my left shoulder. That combined with several traumatic back injuries, left me in pretty bad shape. Living like that, for the rest of my life was not an option for 21 year old Kat. So when he said that, I was furious.

The fact that he said it in such a supercilious, “what did you expect?” Tone made it worse. I wanted to grab him by the lapels and tell him that that was unacceptable, and he better come up with something to do to help me! Thankfully, I refrained from doing that, because all he had to offer was sending me back to the physical therapist- been there, done that 5+ times – or a radical surgery installing rods in my back to force my spine to be straight. At the time, that seemed like a good option. Now I thank my lucky stars, that we didn’t go that route.

Instead of physically assaulting my doctor, I showed my frustration by storming out of the office. Then I did my own research, and landed on Pilates. I read accounts of people using Pilates to lesson their back pain, and I latched onto the idea like a life saver. I found a studio that was willing to take insurance where I could take private lessons, got the aforementioned orthopedist to write me a prescription and dove in head first. My trainer specialized in rehabilitation and she was amazing. It took a year of painstaking practice and patience, but eventually we got the five vertebrae in my back to un-fuse. It then took another seven-ish months before I could articulate between each one independently.

Over the next three years, I worked my way up from Practicing three hours a week to over twenty hours a week while training to be a Pilates instructor. For the first time in over 10 years, I would have pain-free days. From a skeletal viewpoint, I was doing great. The muscles in my back, however we’re still pretty pissed off and it became obvious that I couldn’t sustain the schedule that I was doing. That combined with the conflicting hours of a new job meant that I had to drop out of school before I got my full Pilates certification.

Fast forward a couple of years, and I was still doing pretty well skeletal wise, but the muscles were worse. It was also around this time that I found myself working as a manager for a MAssage Envy, and I happened to be the only manager that liked deep tissue massages. Therefore, whenever we had a therapist who was applying to be a deep tissue therapist, I took the interview . . . The interview consisting of an hour long deep tissue massage. For a couple of months when we were short-staffed I was getting upwards of two massages a week. Awesome! It was also there that I met an exceptionally gifted massage therapist, who I still go to now. Because of all of that, the muscles in my back finally calmed down enough that muscle spasms became a once-in-a-great-while occurrence, instead of a weekly occurrence. Whoo-hoo! My sciatica Problems also went away. Double Whoo-hoo!

Now this is not to say, that my back is now totally better, but I do get pain-free days and even weeks sometimes. It’s only when I skip the daily maintenance of stretching, Pilates, yoga and skip my monthly massage. I still have to do all of that to maintain, and when I slack off I usually wind up at the chiropractor,which happened last week. But here’s the thing, I wound up seeing a new chiropractor (because he had an evening appointment available) and he did a full examine to start out, including a scoliosis check. To which he reported, that there were no signs of scoliosis left in my back. The triple curve is now totally gone. SCORE! My back still hurts, and it’s something that I will deal with for the rest of my life, but my biggest obstacle is now gone, and I figured that was worth celebrating!

Also, take that Mr. Orthopedist nay-sayer man!

Tuesday September 06, 2016WritingLeave a comment

About two years ago, I started doing a weekly post on Twitter, where I give an editing tip and sign it #TheDisgruntledEditor. Because of that, I have been asked by several people if I am an editor. Once I stop laughing, I tell them no. I am most definitely not an editor. I work with several fantastic editors, because I am well aware of the fact that I need them. My general attitude toward commas is that you just sprinkle those fuckers in wherever it looks good. Apparently that’s wrong. Very wrong.

So why the disgruntled editor posts? Those posts came about, as thoughts that I am sure my editors have whenever going over my work. Or at least the thoughts that I have while going over my work. I am the disgruntled editor, because I don’t like doing it, and I’m not very good at doing it, especially to my own work. Really, who is? That is why, I have come up with a list of things that I check on any significant piece that I write before handing it off to my editor. I came up with this list based upon recurring comments that I would get. I figure, if they had to tell me to do something more than twice it is clearly a habit that I’ve gotten into, and the least I can do is check my work for them before sending it off. I say the least I can do, because what I should really do is learn how to properly use commas … however, as I don’t see that happening anytime soon, I go over my list instead.

What is this list, you ask? It’s a compilation of common redundancies, superfluous word phrases and helping verbs that often make a sentence passive and therefore less interesting. These are things that I can easily fix myself, and therefore free my editor up to focus on the more technical aspects of my copy. Like semi-colons. Seriously, how the fuck do you properly use a semi-colon? This is a rhetorical question of course. It has been explained to me more times than I can count, and every time the explanation goes in one ear and right out the other. My brain couldn’t seem to care less about their proper use. Once in a great while I will get one right, and when I do I celebrate. I call it the semi-colon dance. Every other time, my editor fixes it for me.

I have come to accept this about myself, and I’ve moved on. Instead of berating myself for not being able to grasp these concepts, I snarkily point them out for others via the Disgruntled Editor. And I have my list. It is how I actively edit, and feel better about my willy-nilly use of punctuation. For all of you writers out there like me, who want to give your editor’s a bit of a break, click here and I’ll send you my list. Or if you have a list, or something you always check for let me know! I’m constantly adding to my repertoire!

Thursday August 25, 2016History, Inspiration, Life, WritingLeave a comment

Three and a half years ago I started on a journey that has led me to a place I never could have imagined. After pitching my idea to a magazine and being accepted, I wrote my first Heroine of History article. It was a short biographical piece about Mary Elizabeth Bowser, who was arguably the best placed Union spy during the American Civil War. This was my first attempt at biography, and I loved it. It wasn’t easy, but I loved unearthing her story and telling it.

That is largely how I’ve felt about all of the women that I’ve written about. Those biographies are the hardest things that I write. The research alone is daunting. The Internet is amazing in that there are literally millions of resources right at your fingertips. But anybody can post things on the Internet, so who’s to say what is fact and what is fiction. That’s not to say that books are 100% reliable either. I have read many an erroneous account in a book. I would guess that close to two-thirds of all of my research time is spent corroborating or dispelling facts.

I’m researching Shirley Chisholm right now. Two sources say that she was born on November 20, 1924, three sources say that she was born on November 30, 1924, five sources say November 1924, and a handful of sources don’t mention her birthday at all. Now multiply that by almost every relevant fact about the woman. Half the time I feel like I’m taking a poll: “Was Shirley Chisholm the oldest of four children or the oldest of eight children?”

I spend hours weeding through similar yet varied information, and then picking and choosing which “facts” seem to be the most factual. Then comes the daunting task of telling their story in a way that honors their life. I obviously pick these women because I find them inspirational, so I therefore want to do them justice.

And none of this takes into account the content of the stories. Yes, these are amazing, take-charge, get-things-done, and overcome-the-odds, inspirational women. However, in order to overcome something bad must happen first. So these stories are also full of loss, poverty, abuse, racism, sexism, disappointment and the destruction of dreams. It is heavy stuff.

Yet, they are also the most fulfilling. The more I research and the more I delve into these stories, the more I come to realize that these women have something in common. Regardless of race, social status, background, era, etc., all of these women place their focus on something external. Their communities, the disenfranchised, the downtrodden, those who have trouble speaking for themselves. These women served. They lifted up those around them, and in doing so, lifted themselves up too.

One of the most magical things about helping others, is that it is almost impossible to do so without also helping yourself. I can’t think of a single time that I willing offered and gave my help that I didn’t feel better about myself afterwards. Despite the hours of work and the emotional drain that each of these biographies takes, I feel better after having written them. I feel better after telling their story, after doing my part to ensure that their deeds won’t slip into the darkest corners of history to wilt away forgotten.

I also feel better knowing that I have done my part to pass their inspiration on. Every person needs a hero to look up to, and it’s even better if you can relate to that hero. I had one growing up, and it’s her story that started me down this road in the first place, and so it is in her honor and the honor of every other heroine that has lent me their strength that I’ve decided that it is high time to expand beyond the Heroines of History. What started as a simple magazine article, has grown into so much more. The ball is rolling on two new steps – okay, being nudged down the road is a bit more accurate than rolling – but I am excited for these two new ventures: Through Her Eyes and the Heart of a Heroine Alliance. Onwards and upwards, here we go!

Tuesday August 23, 2016Live and Learn, PoliticsView all 6 comments

Always read the article before posting it. NEVER trust the headline. There is nothing worse than posting an article because you completely agree with the headline only to open it up and discover that you completely disagree with what the actual article says. For that matter, make sure the article is from a credible source and not Jim Bob’s Website of Conspiracy Theories.
Blanket statements will come back to bite you in the ass. It might not be immediately, but eventually you’re going to get bit.
There will be people, both right-wing and left-wing, who are operating on nothing but the propaganda of their party. The second that you start giving facts and sources and asking them to do the same they will resort to calling you names and shouting invectives against your character. If this happens on their page, walk away. If it happens on your page, politely ask them to be respectful and to source what they’re saying. Eventually, in my experience rather quickly, they will run out of ways to avoid stating facts and block you. Then you don’t have to deal with them anymore, and then you have a fun story about that one time you were called a fascist on the internet.

The odds of completely changing somebody’s mind is low. However, the odds of getting somebody to think about something in a new way, or to question the way they do think about something is fairly good. Set your expectations accordingly. People who are undecided about issues are the most fun to talk to.
If someone’s fundamental beliefs are the polar opposite from yours, put the mouse down and step away from the computer. Even in the best of circumstances – face to face with charts, graphs, and expert Witnesses at your beck and call – the odds are slim to none that you will sway that person to your way of thinking, or that they will be able to sway you to theirs. The odds of it happening on the internet are non-existent. Save everybody a headache and don’t even try.
It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree. And just because you disagree does not mean that you cannot still be friends. Always try to take the high road, and if you truly have offended someone, apologize.

‘I’ statements help to further the conversation, while ‘you’ statements generally result in someone taking offense. For example ‘I disagree because of XY and Z,’ vs ‘You are wrong. The answer is XY and Z.’
Know your facts, and be prepared to admit when you have entered areas where your knowledge is lacking.
Sometimes you just need to preach to the choir and ignore the haters. That’s okay too.

Tuesday August 16, 2016Live and LearnView all 2 comments

I have always been the independent and self-sufficient type. As such, I am more likely to struggle with something for a couple of hours in order to figure it out, instead of asking for help. Probably not the best use of my time, but it sure is a skill that comes in handy when there isn’t anyone around to ask for help. Or when there is a fee for said help, and I don’t have the funds. Thankfully, I have a pretty good record of muddling through things and eventually coming out on top. Yes, I screw things up, but I’ve always been able to reverse or fix what I’ve screwed up. Until last week.

I’ve been working to update my website so I have a page for my novel, a page for a series of non-fiction books that I’ve started work on, and a sign-up for my shiny new newsletter. Whoo! It’s the last thing on this list that caused everything to go kablooie! In all of my infinite coding wisdom – I have no coding wisdom – I put the code for the newsletter sign-up in the wrong place. The REALLY WRONG place, causing the admin side of my website to straight-up disappear. Oddly enough, end users could still see everything. I could go to my website and browse through old blog posts and take a look at my progress through the Shakespearean canon, etc. However, if I tried to do anything on the back end, like log-in to erase the offending code, all I had was a white screen of death. That’s it.

That was the most frustrating part about the whole thing. I knew exactly how to fix the problem I created, but I had no idea how to get in to fix it. Argh!!!! I tried for two days to gain access before finally relenting and paying the guy who originally coded my website to fix it. To my credit, he was impressed with the fubar that I had created, so that at least made me feel a bit better about having to shell out some cash to fix the problem. In true IT fashion, he had the issue resolved in no time flat and even offered to install the code where it was supposed to go. Bonus!

The good news, is that I now I have the aforementioned pages set-up – you should check them out – and I have a lovely little pop-up so visitors can sign-up for my newsletter, as well as a link in case you decide later that you want to sign-up. The bad news, after seeing the pop-up in action, I’m not a fan and would rather just have the link, which I added all by myself. But as I spent $75 for that damn pop-up, it gets to stay . . . at least until it’s earned that $75 back . . . or I figure out where the code is to delete it . . . anybody else sensing the start of a vicious cycle here?

Tuesday August 02, 2016History, Live and Learn, PoliticsView all 6 comments

There has been a meme floating around to advocate voting for a third party candidate by saying that Lincoln was a third party candidate and those votes weren’t wasted. I hate to be the one to burst everyone’s bubble, but Lincoln was not a third party candidate. Bruce Catton’s book The Coming Fury has a somewhat dry, but excellent accounting of the election that preceded the outbreak of the Civil War. However, if reading a long book about history isn’t your idea of fun, here’s my summation.

The Whig party, Lincoln’s original party, began to split in the 1850’s and that is when the Republican Party came into existence. Please note, at that time Republicans were liberal and Democrats were conservative. The Whig split was due in large part to opinions about slavery. Despite what I was taught as a kid, the Civil War was not fought over whether the slaves should be freed. Lincoln introduced that objective with the Emancipation Proclamation which went into effect mid-war, in 1863. This was an attempt to give Northerners who were growing weary of the fighting a rallying cry that they could gather around. Not to mention, cutting off any possible support for the South from abolitionist countries like England. But that’s a totally different conversation, so let’s get back to before the war even started. Among other factors, the Civil War was fought over the possible expansion of slavery and the right of the Federal government to control slavery.

In the 1850’s, leading into the 1860 election, the hot button topic was whether or not slavery should be allowed in new territories and then subsequent states as they were established. As well as the enforcement of fugitive slave laws. The extreme liberals, who were a minority, wanted complete abolition. However, most liberals were content if slavery stayed in the South, wasn’t allowed to expand into new territories, and remained under the jurisdiction of the Federal government. See the Missouri Compromise map below.

The Conservatives wanted the fugitive slave laws more strictly enforced and an amendment to be passed stating that the Federal government had no authority to ever abolish slavery – or “the peculiar institution” as they called it. The extreme conservatives, or “Fire-Eaters” as they were branded, wanted all of that and assurances that any new territory that fell South of the Mason-Dixon Line would become a slave state. This is a simplification obviously, but this is the main issue that split, then dissolved the Whig Party by the 1852 and 1856 election respectively. This opened the stage for the Republican Party to form.

With the dissolution of their party, many Whigs stepped out of politics for a while, if not permanently, and/or changed parties. Northern Whigs tended to gravitate to the new Republican Party. Deep-south Whigs went to the Know Nothing Party, upper-south Whigs went to the Constitutional Union Party and those remaining filtered over to the Democrats. The Know Nothing Party was only prominent for a few years and their stances were based mainly on the beliefs that Irish Catholic and German immigrants were ruining America – some sentiments never change. The Constitutional Union Party was anti-secession and believed that the Constitution was the first and final word for all governing. They hoped that by not taking a stand as either pro or anti-slavery, the whole issue would go away. Their party pretty much dissolved completely with secession.

By 1860, the Whig party was all but gone. Lincoln ran under the Republican ticket, however, he was far from a favorite. The people running his campaign though, were very smart. They realized that there were so many hot button topics that anyone who drew large amounts of attention wouldn’t be able to get elected. William Seward was so outspoken that it would be nearly impossible for him to get a majority vote at the convention. However he was going to lead the first vote because he did have quite a bit of popularity. So Lincoln’s campaign manager – at this point in time the candidates themselves didn’t go out on the campaign trail, they stayed home – made agreements with several crucial states that when the second or third vote came around they would switch their vote to Lincoln. They did the same with states backing Salmon Chase. So by playing up the underdog card, they were able to sway enough states who voted for Seward or Chase in the first and second vote to switch to Lincoln by the third vote. Thus, Lincoln gained a majority and won the convention nomination.

Meanwhile back at the Democratic convention,* they were splitting into two. When the Democrats refused to adopt the platform that the “Fire-Eaters” insisted upon, the Fire-Eaters literally walked out of the convention and formed their own. So for the 1860 election, there were two Democratic conventions and two Democratic nominees. Both claiming that they were in the right and they represented the true Democrats. Again, those running Lincoln’s campaign were savvy. They approached the states who were backing the non-Fire-Eater Democratic nominee and convinced them that their man wouldn’t be able to win with their party split. However, as Lincoln opposed slavery expanding into new territories, but was content to let it exist where it already was this was an agreeable compromise for them. In this way, Lincoln was able to get some of the Democratic votes and gain the White House. The Know Nothing Party and Constitutional Union Party were mere blips on the radar and didn’t have a chance at propelling their candidates into the White House.

So, was Lincoln a member of the Whig Party? When it existed, yes. Was he a third party candidate during the 1860 election? No. And thus, I will stop spewing a history lesson at you.

*Okay, technically speaking the Democratic convention that split occurred before the Republican convention, but I couldn’t resist the throwback to one of my favorite childhood books.

Thursday July 28, 2016Live and Learn, Politics, WomenLeave a comment

Anyone who follows me on Facebook knows very clearly that Hillary Clinton has my vote in November. I post about her often and have gotten into more than a handful of conversations with people. One of the things that I see more than anything else from Hillary-Haters is this sentiment, “Give me a reason other than she is a woman or she is better than Trump.” Which is absolutely fair. This is your vote and I completely respect people’s desires to want to vote for a candidate who will best represent them and their beliefs. Neither of those two answers is adequate.

There are multiple reasons that HRC has my vote. Looking at her resume alone, she is one of the most qualified people to ever run for the presidency. She has extensive international diplomacy experience, has dealt with the military, knows firsthand how the Senate runs, knows firsthand what life in the White House is like and has similar if not the same stances on the majority of the major issues as me. See below. Not to mention, anybody that can weather as much criticism and backlash as she has and still be standing, much less functioning at a high level, has the fortitude to withstand a presidency. As a glass-ceiling-breaker she has been put up against higher standards then any male politician. From my study of other glass-ceiling-breakers in America, this is par for the course. She has weathered the storm with grace. And last but not least, the more that I read about her the more her tenacity and “fuck your expectations, I don’t care if I’m a woman” attitude reminds me of myself. The fact that she is a woman is just icing on the cake.

As far as my comparison of the issues, I started in two places. This information below was taken from the results of the quiz on www.iSidewith.com. As I work full time I don’t have the luxury of being able to look up all of this info on separate independent websites and compile my own results. I needed a jumping off point to know where to begin my research and what my research should focus on. In the quiz itself I clicked the “Other Stances” button to read all of the options for each question. At the end of each big issues, I clicked on “answer more questions about . . .” and continued to do this until I had answered every question available. There is also a nifty “Learn More” button next to each question. I clicked on and read almost every one of them. Some categories have many more questions than others, so it’s obviously not perfect. But for a jumping off point, really handy. Here are my results. I was actually surprised by Jill Stein, which warranted more investigation.

Candidates you side with…

89% – Hillary Clinton on social, domestic policy, economic, immigration, healthcare, environmental, science, education, and electoral issues.

87% – Jill Stein on social, domestic policy, economic, foreign policy, immigration, environmental, healthcare, science, education, and electoral issues.

65% – Gary Johnson on social, immigration, and electoral issues.

27% – Donald Trump on no major issues.

Next I looked at www.ontheissues.com which lays out each candidate, the issues and multiple quotes of their stances over time. Awesome! And wouldn’t you know it, they have a candidate picker quiz too. This one’s cool because it lets you see how you line up with senators, mayors, etc as well. However, it only asks 20 pretty basic questions. (To save time, use your back navigation button to switch which candidates you’re comparing yourself to. That way you don’t have to redo the quiz each time!) Again, this is not perfect, but it’s nice to see how this one compared to the other. I still scored with Hillary as first and Trump as last, however, the gap between Hillary Clinton and Jill Stein was bigger, and reading all of Stein’s quotes I think the bigger gap is more accurate. She’s a little too liberal for me.

This is where I started. The quizzes aside, both of these sites are great resources because of all of the questions have snippets about what the questions is talking about. On The Issues has links for every issue. It is really hard to research a topic that you know nothing about. I will be the first to admit that I am not well versed in all of the major topics. My understanding of economics is abysmal. These websites provided me with a launching point to know what and if I wanted to do research on something specific. That allowed me to brush up on, or learn about the issues themselves, decide where I stood and then match it up to a candidate. I have also read my share of articles, watched speeches and shared more than a few memes spouting rhetoric. But this is where I started, and I am more than happy to have intelligent, respectful conversations about any of it, because there is still plenty that I have to learn. Especially economics. My understanding there is still abysmal.

Tuesday July 26, 2016Change, History, Live and Learn, Right vs Wrong, WritingLeave a comment

My book is unintentionally racist. No, not my novel. That one takes place during the Civil War and is intentionally racist. It has to be to claim any sort of historical accuracy. I am talking about my children’s book, 10 Cheeky Monkeys. It’s a counting book that also teaches vocabulary words, and by happenstance because of current events portrays racism. At first I was content to sweep in under the rug and explain it away by evoking my white privilege of “You’re reading too much into it.” But quite frankly, I can’t do that anymore. I am revoking my white privilege and talking about the fact that it’s there. It isn’t something that I can do anything about at this point, I don’t have the money that it would cost to change it, but I can acknowledge that it is there instead of ignoring it.

You see, I’ve come to believe that one of the biggest problems facing us today in regards to race is everyday good people ignoring or not acknowledging racism when they see it. Or not even realizing that it is there, while meanwhile it is a constant thorn in the sides of people of color. Before the Civil War abolitionists had something to fight for: the abolishment of slavery. It was a tangible, worthy goal with easily recorded wins. Lincoln introduced the Emancipation Proclamation and the end of the Civil War secured the last nail in the coffin lid of slavery. However, something that ingrained isn’t given up that easily. The slave codes were reworded and reworked and largely became the Jim Crow laws. I realize that this is an over simplification and what follows is also a simplification, but I don’t want to bore you with too much of a history lesson, so I beg you to stick with me.

Then came the Civil Rights Movement. Again, there was something tangible to fight against, something to direct the attack. Desegregate, overturn the Jim Crow laws, and end the violence and abject fear that was running rampant in the South. These goals were easily articulated and the wins were easily recorded. However, again, something that ingrained does not go away easily. And I don’t want to harp solely on the South here. There were race riots in New York during the Civil War. In fact, before the war broke out, one of the top proposals of the anti-slavery movement was to stick all of the freed blacks on a boat and send them back to Africa. They weren’t looking for equality, they just didn’t want slavery anymore. Same for the Civil Rights movement. There were plenty of people who were all for blacks having “equal rights,” as long as they didn’t move up north into their neighborhoods. Our country is entrenched in a history of racism, and while the Jim Crow laws were overturned, the sentiments remained.

Our problem today, is that with the advent of cell phone videos and live streaming it is much easier to broadcast the stories of a select group out to a wide audience. And to quote Fannie Lou Hamer, a large majority of the black population is “Sick and tired or being sick and tired.” They are sick of the constant, insidious racism that they encounter every day and tired of it being brushed aside like it’s no big deal. It is a big deal, and unlike the activists of the past, the activists of today don’t have anything they can point to, anything that they can definitively fight against.

Sadly, for some that focus has fallen on the police as it is their onerous job to mete out a lot of this injustice. There are cities in this country that make hundreds of thousands of dollars off their poorest communities from fines and tickets. Guess who has to dole those out? The cops. If they don’t, they lose their jobs. If they do they become the enemy of the very people they have sworn to protect. EVERY ONE is set up for failure in this system. Yes, there are a select few in blue who use their power and position to unduly harass and prosecute the black communities that they are supposed to serve. They are a problem and they need to go. Racism and bigotry have no business in uniform. But even with all of them gone, it is the system as a whole that needs an overhaul.

Even if a fairy godmother could come down and snap her fingers to fix the entire system overnight, we would still have a race problem in this country and the activists of today would still be lacking a handhold for their fight. It is the hearts and minds of the general populace that need to change. But it is a general awareness that is lacking amongst a large portion of the white population that a problem even exists. That is itself one of the biggest problems, and it is perpetuated every time we see or do something racist and let it slide, because, “What’s the big deal?”

The big deal is that this country abolished slavery 151 years ago, yet has still failed to systematically treat and address the black population as equal. Don’t believe me, go to Google and type in “Obama monkey.” That is the respect shown to our commander-in-chief. Yes, all presidents get made fun of, but that is not all-in-fun ribbing. Those images are racist. If you’re still skeptical that a problem exists, type in “Leslie Jones Twitter.” That’s just the blatant racism hurled at black people, the subtle, latent racism often sneaks by under the radar of whites. It makes me shudder that we have progressed so little.

So with that said, I am calling myself out. There is a portion of my book 10 Cheeky Monkeys that can be interpreted as racist. Here are the pages next to their inspiration.

I specifically asked my illustrator to add in the police car as a throwback to a piece I did in my portfolio when I graduated from college. I of course can’t find that to add a picture, but it would be of a white guy eating his pizza as fast as he can before the police can come and arrest him. Now here are the pages next to images that are more likely to come to mind with our recent news cycles.

Is it intentional? No. Does it eerily mirror events that are popping up in the news far too frequently? Yes. Do I personally feel that it perpetuates racist stereotypes? Yes. Do I accept that as the publisher of this book and the one who requested the illustration change, that this is my doing? Yes. Does that make me a racist? No. Does that make my illustrator a racist? Absolutely not. Good, well-intentioned people do racist things every day without realizing that they are doing so. That doesn’t make them racists. However, it is time we started noticing how our words and decisions impact those of color. It is time we unlearn our years of privilege and learn to do better. Myself included.

Tuesday July 12, 2016Live and LearnLeave a comment

When I was a kid I dreaded holiday dinners when there was something big politically going on. That’s because there would inevitably be a political discussion at said dinner and I hated, loathed and despised talking about politics. They were always the same. My aunt, the token Democrat, would be on one side and her sister and two brothers, including my father, were the Republicans on the other side. The discussions went something like this. The Democrat would say something and it would land on deaf ears. The Republicans would say something in return. Which would also land on deaf ears. Then the Democrat would yell something back, so as to be better heard, yet it fell on deaf ears as well since the Republicans were too busy coming up with what they would say next to actually hear anything. Then the Republicans would yell something back, then the Democrat, and eventually the back and forth would dissolve completely and it would just become people shouting their beliefs into whatever open space there was. The only people who actually did any listening were my sister and me, and we were the only ones who weren’t taking part in the conversation. So a fat lot of good that did.

It wasn’t until years later, that I realized that this was not a political discussion. A discussion implies discourse, which implies someone listening while another talks and then responding to what was just said. That is not what happened at those holiday dinners. There was no discussion whatsoever. I’m not really sure what you can call it, other than painful to sit through. It wasn’t until after I was out of college that I had my first legit political discussion, and I loved it! And no, we didn’t agree with each other so it wasn’t just one person preaching to the choir. It was one person stating their opinion on a subject and backing it up with facts and research. Then the other person asking questions and trying to understand where that person was coming from. When they couldn’t understand, explaining why not and why they believed what they believed. And so on and so forth.

At no point was there name calling and blanket generalizations were kept to a minimum and generally called out when they were used. By the end of the discussion, neither of us had changed our minds, but we both had a lot to think about. It was amazing! That conversation lingered for weeks. The simple act of actually listening and taking three seconds to try to understand where someone is coming from was so refreshing especially with something as high charged as politics.

From that point on, I’ve become increasingly picky about who I will discuss politics with, because when done right, it’s incredibly invigorating, but when done poorly it’s less productive than banging your head on the wall. For whatever reason, as of late, I have lost my ability to pick the good discussions and keep winding up in arguments where my opponent’s main rebuttal is, “You’re wrong!” Which is oh so enlightening. So I once more find myself stuck with that old bitter taste in my mouth for talk of politics. Therefore, I am going to refrain for a bit until I can get my “picker” fixed. In the meantime, to cleanse my palate, I’m going to go bang my head on the wall.

Thursday July 07, 2016Change, History, Live and Learn, Right vs WrongLeave a comment

I feel sick. In my gut, in my heart and in my soul. I have spent considerable amounts of time studying the backward thinking that caused the Civil War. The oppression that the suffragists fought against, and the stark cruelty and abject depravity of the Civil Rights movement. I wish I could stand back and look at our country today and marvel at how far we have come. But I can’t, because we haven’t gone anywhere. The racism is still there, the intolerance and oppression are still there, and it has got to stop. The indomitable Maya Angelou once said:

America, specifically white America, you know better, so start doing better. Black men are not inherently dangerous, or the boogey man lurking in the shadows that our ancestors would have us believe. Homosexuals are not backwards or trying to denigrate and ruin your so called family values. Immigrants are not destroying our nation by bringing in their foreign tongues and diverse cultures. So get over yourselves. White is not right, or better. English is not our official national language and Christianity is not our official national religion – because we don’t have either a national language or religion. Why? This map explains the language matter better than I can, and as for religion, the first amendment of our Constitution states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.”

Our founding fathers did the best they knew how to create a canvas of tolerance. Sadly we have failed the test of tolerance from day one and we continue to do so today. This country has the potential of being a great melting pot of people and culture and religion, but we will never achieve that if we continue to allow those in power – ie white Christian men – to skim anything different than themselves out of the pot. We will never achieve that if we continue to allow the thinking to pervade that anything different than white and Christian is bad.

I have great respect for our brothers and sisters in blue who do a largely thankless and hard job. I believe that there are many who do outstanding jobs. However, with that respect comes a higher level of accountability, and it is time to lay that accountability on the table. Blatant racism and prejudice should have no home in a blue uniform and it is time to clean house. It is time that we as a people demand to know what the accountability process is for our local law enforcement. It is time that we investigate what kind of oversight is in place. Is it union-based or strictly in-house? If so, then it is time that we demand there be civilian oversight as well. Police are going to stand up and protect their own, as they should for the most part, but an outside check is severely lacking to provide the needed balance.

Write to your mayor, your governor, your city-councils and let them know that we the people, who elected them, want transparency in our police forces. Write to your representatives and tell them the same. Follow-up. If you sent an email, send a physical letter. If you’ve done both and nothing has happened, make a phone call. If you’ve done all three and nothing has happened, then vote them out in November. There are more than 400 congressional seats up for re-election and innumerable local government seats. Let it be known that this will be a topic not just for discussion, but for action and only those willing to act will get the votes. The time for hashtags is over. Now is the time for action.

*For additional reading, I highly recommend the following articles: What You Can Do About Police Brutality, Concrete Ways to Be an Ally to Black People, White Silence, The Next Time Someone Says All Lives Matter, What White Folks and Non-Black POC Need to Understand About Systematic Racism, and I Recorded the Racist Things People Did to Me.