I tend to have a pretty fast trigger finger when it comes to unfriending or unfollowing people on social media. If someone is perpetually negative, offensive or vexatious in some other way I will press that button to sever our contact and never look back. Because of this, I’m connected to virtually no overtly religious people. Not that I’m discriminating against the religious, but all it takes it one post or meme saying my gay friends are going to hell and you’re gone. I have no tolerance for that. Therefore, those people get weeded out in short order. I don’t need three strikes. One and done. This means that you are much more likely to see Star Wars pop up in my Facebook newsfeed, then you are anything about god.

Then, the other day, I commented on a post of a woman that I rarely interact with. After this comment, the Facebook algorithms decided that I was clearly interested in EVERYTHING that she posts, and I started to see a whole lot more of her in my feed.  That’s when I realized that she is overtly religious in her posts. At least one per day, sometimes more, will have something to do with her faith. My trigger finger started to itch, ready to unfriend her, but I soon discovered that I had no need. While she clearly has more god in her life then I find necessary, it’s just that, in her life. Any religious sentiments were geared toward herself and her family. The comforts and guidance that her family gains through faith.

I was intrigued. I started seeking out her posts almost like it was too good to be true. It was refreshing to find someone who is unabashedly religious, someone who clearly celebrates that religion, but feels no need to impose it on others. As this particular woman is Mormon, I found that even more amazing. It’s been more than a week that I’ve been watching her posts and I have yet to see any vitriol, damnation or judgment of others. Simply a love of her faith and her god.

Do I share her particular beliefs? No. Do I find the same comfort in god that she does? Definitely not. If we were to have a conversation in real life and delve into religion and politics would we most likely wind up in a heated disagreement? Probably. Would she walk away from that discussion thinking that she needed to pray for my immortal soul? Most definitely. Would I still be willing to have that conversation? Yes.

There’s the difference. I would be more than willing to have that conversation with her, because unlike every other extremely religious person that I’ve encountered, I have never once felt judgement from her. 99% of the time I am uninterested in discussing religion or politics because, in my experience, those conversations wind up in harsh judgements, and sometimes name calling. People enter those conversations unwilling to entertain any viewpoint but their own, so instead of a discussion it becomes an attack to get the other person to concede and come over to their side. If both people have the same mind-set it turns into a lot of screaming at deaf ears.

That’s not to say that the same thing wouldn’t happen with her. It might. But her non-judgmental approach to religion, makes me believe that maybe that white whale does exist. Who knows? If we ever find ourselves sitting across cups of coffee from each other, perhaps I’ll ask.