Now don’t get me wrong, I ask for my share of favors from people, and some of them are doozies. Like my readers are going to discover when they realize that the first quarter of my novel that they signed up to read is 140ish pages long. That’s a big favor, and I am forever grateful to each and every one of them. I am also more than willing to return the favor to that same person, or pay it forward to others. But there is something about total and complete strangers popping up out of the blue to ask me for a favor that really raises my hackles. I’ve discovered this new phenomenon as my social media presence has grown, and despite the fact that it’s been happening for about a year now it still takes me aback.

Someone that I’ve never encountered reaching out asking me if I’ll share a tweet with my followers. Pass the word about a Kickstarter campaign, recommend a book or blog site. Inevitably all of them include the same phrase, “It’ll only take a second.” Which is true, if I knew the person and was familiar with their work. I have no problems tooting a horn for a friend, or taking a minute to go vote on a picture of their baby in a contest. However, as most of these requests tend to pop up out of the woodwork, no it will take much longer than a second. I have worked very hard to develop my following on my various social media platforms, and I pride myself in the fact that I do not spam them with crap. I have looked at and read every link that I share and if I say that I like or recommend something, it’s because I genuinely do.

So no, sharing your link or recommending your book is going to take me much more than “a second.” Especially since many of the recommendations that I post generate responses back and I don’t want to look like an idiot when someone asks me to tell them more. And while I do feel for your uncle’s roommate’s son who has leukemia and is trying to raise money for treatments, I am not going to retweet for you. I don’t know you from Adam, and for all I know “your uncle’s roommate’s son who has leukemia” is actually code for “let me see how much money I can get from the bleeding-heart suckers.” Is that horribly cynical? Yep. I’m okay with that.

I guess what I’m saying is, learn to ask for favors people! Or at the very least follow two very simple guidelines. 1. Actually know the person, or at the very least have interacted with them on more than one occasion. 2. Provide an easy out, so the person can say no if they want to without looking like an asshole. That’s fantastic that you’re eight-year-old daughter, whom I have never met, has decided that she wants to write a children’s book. But no, I have no desire to teach her how. Thanks for bringing it up and making me feel horrible for crushing your child’s dreams, though. In fact, I think I may change my name. Kat “Ruiner of Dreams” Michels, yep, it has a ring to it.

*In my defense, I did give the mother a few suggestions of things that she could do with her daughter to help her write a children’s book.