I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually think we had something figured out back in sixth grade. I know, middle school is the tenth circle of hell that Dante left out of his Inferno for fear that he would scare people to death. But when it comes to dating, I think we had something figured out back then. Think about it, if you liked a boy you mooned and giggled over him with your friends for a bit, and then you’d send one of them over to him with a carefully folded note – the folding was very important –
that had some variation of this on it:
Do you wanna go out? Circle yes or no.
Yes No
He got the note, he responded and you were either on cloud nine, or you became so depressed that you wanted your life to end . . . until your BFF gave you her Lisa Frank folder that you’d always been jealous of and then everything was alright. How much easier is that, than what we do as adults?!? It takes all of the pressure off! Imagine a bar – because we’re adults now, so we’re allowed to drink! – where you go with your friends and when you see a guy that you like you send one of your friends over with a note:
Do you wanna get a coffee tomorrow at 10:30? Circle yes or no.
Yes No
He gets the note, he responds and you either keep looking or you have a fantastic evening with your girlfriends secure in the knowledge that you have a coffee date the next morning. The next morning you go out and chat over coffee – where you can make nice sober decisions – and decide if you’d like to pursue things further. So. Much. Easier.
Or, if you’re a little more adventurous than that, there could be a nice game of Spin the Bottle over in the corner. A coat closet designated for 7 Seconds in Heaven. You can find out a lot in seven seconds! Sometimes, all you really need to know can be discovered in seven seconds, ladies you know what I’m talking about. If things get really out of hand then maybe some Twister or Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board!
Okay, that’s going a little too far, but the rest sounds fantastic! No skeezy guys invading your space who won’t take a hint, no public rejection for all to see. A simple yes or no question and then you move on with your evening. I like this plan. Who’s in?