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The Restroom Gestapo

I work on the 8th floor of a high rise building, and all of the offices on my floor have access to one men’s room, and one lady’s room. Over the past several months there has been some serious drama brewing about the lady’s room and it cracks me up to no end!

First, there were complaints that people were dripping water all over the counter and not wiping it up. Now true, there are definitely days that you go in there and it makes you wonder if somebody has been handwashing their clothes there’s so much water on the counter. But it’s water. It doesn’t get in the way of washing your hands. Yes, maybe you want to set your purse on the counter. Not a problem, grab a paper towel and wipe dry a spot. This is WATER, not nuclear waste. At least this is my philosophy on the whole thing. Apparently the women on my floor, do not share this philosophy. Not only was there a note left in the restroom about wiping up the water, but about a month after the note, an email was received by all of us from building management requesting that people wipe the counter after washing their hands.

I don't care

There were enough people complaining, or just one very persistent person, to get management to send out an email. ABOUT WATER! Hysterical! To their credit, it worked. People started wiping the counters, and the amount of water decreased. So you would think, that the drama would be over, right? Wrong! Emboldened by their win, the Restroom Gestapo moved on to phase two of their restroom crack-down plan. What is next on their list you wonder? Poop. Apparently people have been pooping in the restroom. How inconsiderate! The noses of these delicate flowers have been grossly abused, and thus a second note appeared. I really wish I would have gotten a picture of it before somebody took it down, but alas. The premise of the note was basically requesting – kind of demanding – that these inconsiderate pooping fiends start bringing air freshener, or a match with them to cleanse the air. Then at the bottom, in big bold letters, was written, “We Know Who You Are!”

Know who you are

Really? For the health and regularity of all of the women on the floor, I’m hoping it’s everyone. However, the Restroom Gestapo seems to think that it’s only a select few individuals who are stinking up the joint, and they know who! That is my favorite part. At no point have any of these notes been signed. Or polite for that matter. So we have no idea who the Restroom Gestapo is, but they know who we are. Can you say passive aggressive? As you would expect, this was not received well. Actually I lied, this is my favorite part.  I am not the only one who thinks these notes/people are ridiculous. Ever since that second note showed up, people have stopped wiping the counters. There are now times that it looks like someone has had a full on water fight in there. And no, there has not been an up-tick in the use of air freshener. Take that Restroom Gestapo! It’s like the sixth grade wild, wild, west in there! It cracks me up. I’m sure this whole thing is really ruining someone’s day/week/month, but for my part it is pure comedy.