Today at lunch a friend of mine asked me what I thought of her hair. As this is a friend that I see on a regular basis, I knew that that this question had to be because she had just done something new with her hair. Which of course meant that my brain went immediately into panic mode because I hadn’t noticed anything different. I started through the checklist. New cut? Don’t think so, it’s still the same length. Did she style it differently? Nope, that looks the same too. New color? Not that I can tell, but I have my sunglasses on, so maybe that’s hiding the new color. Crap!

Is there a subtle way for me to look at her hair with my sunglasses off without letting her in on the fact that I have no idea what she’s talking about? No, not really. Besides, I tend to be about as subtle as a brick to the teeth. So I decided to go with blunt.

“Did you do something to it?”

She explained. Yes, she had colored it! Now that the subtlety option was gone, I lowered my sunglasses to get a better look. Nope, still couldn’t tell the difference. So I listened to what she had done and why she had it done, the whole time trying to call up some sort of memory of what her head used to look like before this new color job. Maybe if I had a time frame!

“When did you do this?”

Again she explained. Last week, and then a fix last night. Holy crap! No wonder she was asking, that’s two dye jobs in two weeks without word one from me. I’m the worst friend ever! Okay, not the worst friend, but definitely the most inobservant friend. Again I listen and get a bit of a glimmer of what she’s talking about as she describes the reason that the fix was necessary. I nod my head as I listen, but then she stops. It is clearly my turn to say something. I can’t really agree with her that the fix was necessary, because hell, I didn’t even notice the change in the first place! I decide to go with the truth.

“It looks really nice, I like it.”

Then I hold my breath. It does look nice, I do like it, but is that going to be enough of an answer? God, I really hope she doesn’t want me to discuss the differences in blond highlights vs red highlights in terms of washing people out. Not because I don’t care, but because I have nothing to say on the matter. I’ve never once thought about it! And I’ve especially never thought about the differences that you have to do with your make-up to compensate for the different colors of highlights. Truth be told, most mornings I don’t even look in a mirror while getting ready. If I do, it’s an afterthought, or to check to see if I have food stuck in my teeth. Make-up and hair is sooooooo not my thing! At this point, I’m fairly certain that I am failing at hiding the look of abject horror on my face. I smile and repeat myself.

“I like it. It’s pretty.” She looks at me for a moment and then, takes pity.

“I really need to ask a girl.”

“Yes! Yes you do! Because honestly, unless you dye it blue or chop it all off, I’m not going to notice.”

And then she laughed. Oh thank goodness! And thank goodness for friends who realize that my inobservance of all changes in appearance have absolutely no bearing on how I feel about them as a person. This is why every time I’ve ever played Battle of the Sexes, I have to team with the boys.